Clothed With Love: Angel Gowns

I knew from the moment that I first tried on my wedding dress that it was The One. It was the same feeling I had on my first date with BJ, and the same way I would later feel when I walked into our home for the first time. I just got that feeling, and I knew. We hadn't been dress-shopping long and I didn't even choose the dress from the rack, but the dressing-room attendant slipped it over my head, tightened the corset, and showed me the mirror. I gasped. I had never felt so beautiful. It was strapless, laced in the back, and had lovely white and baby blue bead work on the bodice. The fabric was gathered on one side. I stepped out to show my mom and sister, who both loved it. Then I looked at the price tag and my heart plummeted. It was way too expensive, and I knew it. I began crying immediately and whimpered to the lady, "Take it off me!"

My mom also knew that this dress was The One, so while I was taking the dress off, she was putting in a quick, quiet phone call to my dad. She and dad agreed to buy it for me, saying I had never asked for something like that before and that they wanted me to have it. This will be a gesture from my parents that I will always remember.

I still love my wedding dress. My mom paid to have it cleaned and preserved, and she has kindly stored it in the top of her bedroom closet through the years while I have moved out-of-state and back-and-forth across the state a couple of times. The dress makes me smile because it reminds me of a beautiful day in August 2003, a day when BJ and I gathered at the lovely home of my Aunt Holly and said our vows in front of our closest friends and family. But the truth is, I don't need that dress anymore. It is begging to be worn, as every wedding dress is, but I won't be wearing that dress again, so I have decided it is time to let someone else wear it. Twelve little someones, that is.

I recently learned of an organization called NICU Helping Hands, which was designed "to provide comprehensive support programs and resources to parents of premature infants not only during their stay in the NICU but during and after their transition home." Those last four words, after their transition home, are words that every parent wants to hear as truth for their babies; however, the reality is that some precious babies never make it home from the NICU. For the ones who tragically don't get that welcome home party, NICU Helping Hands has created an Angel Gowns program, which relies on volunteer seamstresses and donated wedding dresses. The talented seamstresses transform beloved dresses into tiny gowns for the babies to wear for final moments and burial, with each donated dress creating approximately 12 angel gowns. The program is intended to support parents by recognizing how special their little one really is, and giving parents the opportunity to clothe their baby in only the best for their sacred burial. Dresses are free upon request to families all over the country. Honestly, I can't think of a lovelier transformation for my dress than this, to be honored by sharing the fabric that I wore on one of the most wonderful days of my life with 12 beautiful souls who will do that same fabric much more justice than I ever could. I immediately knew I was meant to donate to this cause.

Photo courtesy of NICU Helping Hands

My good friend Julie has a history degree, and I consider her to be my sort of resident historian. She has a real knack for understanding significance and connection within human events, and I always appreciate hearing her perspective on things. Upon hearing about the angel gown program, Julie commented that an angel gown is so unique because of the meaningful bridge that it provides between people. The dress that a woman wears on her happy wedding day possesses a certain "magic," as Julie described it, and wrapping that physical love around these sweet babies creates a significant human linkage in the natural cycle of life, of which we are all a part. I am grateful to Julie for making this point.

My mom and me as we pulled the dress from her closet

I'm so fortunate to have such gracious and generous parents. Both of them agreed that the dress should be donated, though it is with some degree of difficulty that they let it go. I can't blame them. Not only did they make the financial sacrifice for the dress, but my mom is even more sentimentally attached to it because she sees it all the time in her closet. For several years I lived very far apart from my mama, and I think she used to take comfort in my special dress being right there with her as she got ready every morning, reminding her of good times and that I wouldn't be gone forever. My parents are truly amazing givers.

One last hug for the dress and the recipient babies before packing it up

You're welcome for the free advertising, Crate & Barrel.

It stung a bit for just a little while to give this away, but George, who accompanied me to the post office, gave me a hug right after and in doing so reminded me of my easy reality--three healthy boys who all made it home from the hospital (one of them twice now!). Here they are enjoying the discarded dress box.

We love my dress so much that my mom and I have chosen to give it new life, and to let it help someone else's mother know that we feel that her baby was extra-special. As for BJ, he likes the decision as well. There is enough love in our everyday that we can share this piece with others who never had the chance. Friends of mine, I encourage you to consider this. Sadly, NICU Helping Hands stated that there are never enough angel gowns to go around. My mother-in-law Susan and my good friend Heidi have both agreed to donate, and I salute them both! If you're saving your wedding dress in the hopes that your daughter may someday wear it, the organization can save you a piece of the bead work, lace, or whatever part you wish and send it back to you at your request, so that your daughter can incorporate your dress into her very own, if she so chooses. I am requesting to have sent to me a picture of one of the gowns that my dress becomes so that I may have that tangible keepsake. Again, please consider this. Thanks and love, from your friend Jenny.

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