One Hand Tied

Last week in the news, one of the primary topics (sadly) was the hacking and leakage of nude photos of several female celebrities, most notably Jennifer Lawrence. Images that were taken by these women and were intended for private, personal use were hacked from their cell phones and put on the internet for a world of Peeping Toms to see. Apple has reported that the leakage was not due to a vulnerability of iCloud, but the images were taken from online storage devices that I can't begin to explain. See BJ's blog if you're interested in that techy kind of stuff.

Much of the response to this exploitation seems reasonable to me: a large number of individuals see this as a breach of moral conduct on the part of the hackers, believe that the hackers should pay for their crimes (yes, I said crimes), and do not place blame upon those whose photos were stolen. There is a subset of society, however, that immediately lashed out at Lawrence and others, blaming them for their role in the 'scandal' and admonishing them to do better next time. I won't even link to these latter articles because I don't want to draw further attention to them.

The complexity of problems within this culture is too large in breadth to expand upon here, but much of it boils down to one very large dysfunction: the sexualization and objectification of women. It is undoubtedly one of the largest problems that our society has created, and it is also one of society's biggest stumbling blocks in terms of social progress. If women are not viewed as more than what they can do for men sexually, then this country is essentially operating with one arm tied behind its back. We will never succeed and reach our potential as a collective unit if one half of us is limited by the other--generally speaking, as I am fully aware that there are decent, active men working to silence the idiots amongst us.

Why is this country so uncomfortable with the idea of women having sexual rights? The 'blame the victim' mentality held by so many people, including many women, is as damaging a notion to the women's rights movement as has ever existed. Doesn't a woman have the right to wear the clothes she wants without being held responsible for how it makes a man feel? Doesn't a woman have a right to have a drink too many and not get sexually taken advantage of? Isn't it unfair that a woman gets raped by a turned-on male who says he couldn't help himself because she was 'asking for it' by the way she looked or the way she flirted with him? Doesn't it suck that a woman can get raped by a man and, when she tries to press charges against him, the fact that she was drunk is a strike against HER? And here, with the Jennifer Lawrence situation, isn't it scary that a woman can take nude photos in the context of a private relationship, have those photos unethically hacked, and then we turn to her and chide her for not being more responsible, for not having stronger passwords or for having a nude photo of herself in the first place? Imagine this for a moment: replace the words "Jennifer Lawrence" with "small business" and replace " nude photos" with "financial statements." If a hacker got into iCloud and accessed the financials of a business, then blackmailed that business and made their account information available for all to see, that would be a legal issue. What in the world is the difference? Is it because Jennifer Lawrence is a person and not a business? Or is it because the nature of what was leaked is not as important as money---it's only the body of a woman?

So, again, why is this country so uncomfortable with the idea of women having sexual rights? I think it's because, in acknowledging those rights, society has to embrace the notion that women are individuals with faces, aspirations, and personalities--and sacrifice the deeply, long-held notions that women are just faceless bodies, just hot commodities to compare or disparage, just bitches when they're angry and hos when they're participants in sexual activities, just punching bags when others are angry. When we as a society can learn that a woman has a voice and right when it comes to her own decisions and her own body, and that her body is for herself to share with whomever she chooses, then a huge number of problems in this country will begin to subside. We will see less violence against women. We will see less pornography. We'll see more women contributing with their full potential, in whatever way they feel most enriched, and we will see more fulfilling sexual relationships. We will see more legal action when women are sexually exploited, and we will see less blaming the victim when sexual assaults do take place. We will see a return to the normalization of breastfeeding in public, because people will reject the notion that breasts are purely sexual objects and thus won't be disgusted and uncomfortable with the idea of using boobs to feed babies. We will essentially see a country operating with no hands behind its back, with all of its brains and talents being used to drive us full-throttle into the betterment of life for us all. Be you female or male, use your voices, and use them for good.You may be surprised to find out just how loud and strong they are.

Sesame Street approves!

For a similar past musing, check it.

Up, Up, and Away!

Van Owen with his characteristic burp cloth/bib. If he spits up while swinging, we just root for it to happen on the backward motion!

A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law Susan and I were preparing to take the boys to get their portraits done at JCPenney. Silas and George were each specific about hats they wanted to wear and favorite toys they wanted to be photographed with, so we went in with practically a wheelbarrow of goods. When Susan asked what props we should use with Van, we both paused to think about what he had grown attachments to. Just as I was about to say that his Glo-Worm is his favorite toy, Susan jokingly pointed out that he could pose with his most familiar object of all...the burp cloth. The thought of Van wearing a grin and cozying up to his spit-up shield is hilarious for me to envision, but the lady speaks the truth. That kid is no stranger to burp cloths, which in our house are actually receiving blankets because ain't no burp cloth big enough to cover his messes.

The travails of Van's spitting up are well-documented. While BJ and I are perfectly aware that bigger problems are to be had in the world, we can't exactly say that this spitting-up business has been a walk in the park. We're talking two loads of laundry a day just to maintain a pathway in and out of the laundry room, lest the piles accumulate so high as to block the swinging door. Even his two older brothers calmly inform us, with no surprise or freaking out, of upchucks as they occur, with the exception being the time that George was the recipient of such tidings into his open, wailing mouth.  Van has ruined our favorite clothes, splashed floors in every establishment that we have patronized, and kept us on a first-name basis with Paul and Regina at Freeman's Carpet Cleaning. Despite our best efforts, carpet is hard to clean now that Van is eating so many bright colors.

Following is the record of the downward slope of Van's weight percentage through the first seven months of his life:

Date:	Weight Percentage:
Day of birth, December 17:	95%
January 6:	82%
February 17:	74%
March 10:	61%
April 18:	45%
May 19:	37%
June 18:	27%
July 18:	21%
August 22:	32%

Artistic interpretation of Van's recent climb

Those numbers stink. The last line is what we're focusing on now though, and it says it all: something is finally working and he isn't losing ground anymore! We've increased his oatmeal in the morning (at his demand), and we put olive oil in many of his veggies and coconut oil in many of his fruits. A friend shared a recipe for pancakes that consist of a banana and two eggs in a food processor, then fried up on a skillet like pancake batter. He loves them and needs no teeth to consume whole baby-handfuls at a time, which is good because the little stinker still doesn't have any teeth. Spitting up can still be frequent, as many as 25 times a day or so, but nothing like before we met our good friend Zantac. It also invariably happens after breastfeeding, which supports our pediatrician's theory that solid foods will stay down better.

So I thought I would share our good news. On Friday, BJ and I took Van in for his umpteenth weight check, and this time there were practically whoops of joy when our favorite nurse declared a jump of 11 whole percentage points in the span of one month's time! We were thrilled to be heading in the right direction for the first time. What's also great is that we left that appointment within ten minutes, rather than our usual letdown of seeing that percentages have dropped and then waiting for Dr. Harmon to come in because the nurse is concerned, and then spending another 20 minutes talking with Dr. Harmon about something new to try. All in all, a thrilling day at the office of Betty Harmon!

Friends, enjoy your Tuesday. May you eat, drink, and be merry--and may all that you eat and drink not come back up for all to see. But if it does, may you be like Van and still be merry. If you'd bestow the same positive thoughts for our youngest son, we'd be tickled. 

Zantac!

 

This blog has previously chronicled Van's incessant spitting-up problem. At his six-month appointment, which happened a week and a half ago, Van was weighed and showed to have not gained any weight at all in the past one month. Since his age cohort gained weight from the fifth to sixth months and he did not, his percentage in the weight department thus dropped from the 37th percentile down to the 27th. We had finally reached a trajectory that seemed simply unacceptable. No gains were being made despite our attempts to change things up, and he was steadily losing ground when compared with his baby peers. He didn't succeed with pumped milk taken from bottles, and he hadn't made any gains even with adding solid foods like vegetables and fruits. Instead of heavier foods staying down better, his spit-up just became bright orange and green, leaving its mark on clothes, bibs, carpets, and toys. Bliss!

So, at the appointment a week and a half ago, his pediatrician said enough was enough, and it was time to try Zantac. Seeing at that point that his percentage had just fallen another ten points, I agreed; intervening with medication to see if we could make a difference was a good idea. Van was put on 2mL of Zantac twice daily. Unfortunately, we saw absolutely no difference for a week. I thought I hadn't expected to actually see a difference, but I found I was disappointed so I guess I must have been holding out more hope than I realized. This, I thought, is stupid. I'm not keeping him on a med that isn't helping!

One week later, I called the doctor. This was on BJ's birthday, last Thursday the 26th. I told her that the Zantac was not helping and wondered if perhaps we should try Prevacid, as we had heard some success stories with that? She said she was disappointed that the Zantac had not been effective but told me she had started him on the lowest dosage. She said, "Call me back in a week regardless; if the Zantac still isn't working, we will switch him to Prevacid. But in the meantime, since you have the Zantac, let's bump up the dosage to 3mL twice a day." Yes, ma'am, I said.

And that was all she wrote.

Much to our disbelief, the spitting up suddenly slowed and then stopped altogether. Van has begun wearing one outfit for the whole day. He isn't even wearing a bib these last two days because he isn't spitting up--not even a little bit! This child went from belching out rivers 40 times a day at least to not even spitting up once today. We kissed him and put him down to bed tonight quietly celebrating that he had not burped up all day, for the first day in his whole life. It really feels like a new lease after six months of incessant messes. He even slept for 13 and a half hours last night before we finally woke him up at 10:30 this morning. We're guessing that perhaps holding down all these extra calories is allowing for some hibernation time! As a mom, I'm kicking myself for not trying a medication sooner, but I know that I put my best efforts toward thoughtful, educated decisions about our guy. Although I'm a big believer that medicines can be so very helpful, I wouldn't have guessed that medication would have saved the day in Van's case.

BJ and I are hopeful that this trend continues. Today Van took four feedings from the breast, and he also ate helpings of oatmeal, pears, a half of an avocado, and bananas. May he pack on some pounds, keep dry, and take naps without waking up soaked in his own food. Now our littlest boy, who is just beginning to sit up on his own for short periods of time, is rolling around like crazy, and enjoys sitting in a swing, can share his lovely smiles without regurgitated surprises to follow! Thanks to all for your suggestions and encouragement over the last six months. Fingers crossed that this trend is here to stay!

Spitting-Up and Downward Trajectories

Baby Van has been a spitter-upper since the very first night of his life. I remember the shock I felt when he woke us up spewing at 3:30AM during our first (and only) night in the hospital. I had never had a baby that just randomly spat it all up for no reason, and I hadn't expected it. It began then and hasn't slowed down at all over the course of the last five months.

All along, I have never been too concerned about this situation because Van is what we call a "happy spitter." He doesn't seem at all distressed about spitting up and there is obviously no pain. He smiles right before he spits up, then unleashes it, and then grins hugely again. Weight gain wasn't too much of a concern in the beginning either; he was born large at 9 pounds 5 ounces, so we expected him to lose a little bit of that anyway in terms of percentage. BJ and I just don't make big boys. George, for instance, is in the seventh percentile for weight, but this is also not a problem because he has always had a consistent trajectory.

Apparently, however, we are learning that Van's trajectory is sloping to the point of intervention. His percentages across appointments have gone from the 90's, to the 82nd, to the 70th, to the 61st, and down to the 45th percentile at four months old. It was enough of a decline that Dr. Harmon felt it warranted a weight check at five months old, when he wouldn't normally have an appointment. She also had me begin feeding him every two hours instead of every three, stating that he might be sleeping too long at night and needs one extra feeding in there. Van did not tolerate being fed every two hours, and the spitting up increased by quite a bit. After only one week of that I abandoned it. About ten days ago Van began waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding, and I certainly have been obliging, knowing that he needs the calories. I have been hoping it meant a growth spurt and that his overall percentage would be up at his check-in today. Instead, he had dropped down to the 37th percentile. His height, however, remains in the 92nd percentile.

I welcome advice and help. I should mention that I am exclusively breastfeeding. Let me tell you what our new plan is and all of the things we have tried. As of today, Dr. Harmon told me to set my alarm for 3AM every night and get that extra feeding in. I will certainly do this, but I no longer have confidence that this action in and of itself will make a difference. After all, I have already essentially been doing this over the last ten days and he has still dropped in percentage. During the day I will continue to feed every two-and-a-half to three hours. She also told us to introduce rice cereal two times a day, beginning today. In two weeks we will drop back to rice cereal once daily and introduce vegetables twice per day. Her thought process here is that a heavier solid food may keep his stomach held down better, resulting in less spitting-up overall.

I had very much hoped that Dr. Harmon would not suggest medications (for reflux?) or formula supplementation, and she suggested neither of those today.

I have tried tweaking my diet, eliminating dairy for a period of time, and seen absolutely no difference.

Spitting-up continues to be excessive. He typically goes through at least six outfits a day and I go through two or three different shirts. Burp cloth turnover is frequent; we use receiving blankets as burp cloths and probably go through at least 15 a day if not more.

Some days are worse than others. He may be able to stay in the same outfit half the day sometimes; sometimes we go through four outfits in an hour. It all depends, though I can't tell on what.

I have tried using the baby scale at The Changing Table, the cloth diaper store co-owned by my friend Kristina. I weighed him initially (without clothes or diaper at all weigh-ins), then fed him and weighed him again (he took in six ounces), then spent 30 minutes in the store meandering as he spat up, and then finally weighed him again. He spat up a normal amount that time and it was two ounces, equaling a total intake of four ounces during that feeding.

We have had several friends tell us that their child spat-up inexplicably, and that this usually ended on its own at about six months with no interventions necessary. For moms that experienced this, did your child also experience the downward trajectory of growth that Van has? I would sure love it if this would stop a month from now! As I said before, I am opposed to formula supplementation and am also opposed to medications, unless either of these was explained to me by our physician as being necessary.

Thoughts? Advice? I welcome the help! I feel discouraged and aimless. Thank you, friends!

Under Cover No More

For those of you who may not have heard, my littlest kiddo was hospitalized with RSV at Children's for four days in the beginning of February. To say the very least, BJ and I were distraught and concerned about our six-week-old little guy as he struggled to breathe, but before he was admitted to the hospital we didn't realize how bad it had gotten. Van was truly in respiratory distress and was illustrating what the medical staff termed "retracting" (a word I quickly came to understand well) in order to breathe because he wasn't getting enough oxygen. On Super Bowl Sunday at around noon, we got the green light from a friend of mine who works as a physician's assistant in an ER, telling us that we needed to take action and get Van into Children's ER because his struggles were significant. It took little time for me to gather some necessary items that we might need for Van. My dad arrived to drive me, and I was out the door.

Within that five-minute scramble, I made a semi-significant decision for Van and myself--I abandoned the nursing cover that I always breastfed him under. Now, at that point in time Van had to make the choice between eating and breathing because he couldn't do both, and naturally he was choosing to breathe. Still, I thought he may change direction and eat in the ER, so perhaps I should pack my cover just in case. One look at it though, pretty as it is, and I immediately felt disgusted and angry. I muttered aloud to BJ, "Forget the stupid cover. I'm not taking it. If someone has a problem with me feeding my baby in a children's hospital without a cover, they can screw themselves." Simply put, there wasn't an iceberg's chance in hell that I was going to put my poor little guy who could barely breathe under a stuffy cover to help some possible random stranger feel more comfortable about perhaps seeing a flash of my breast. I was suddenly so angry about the nursing cover, and when that emotion combined with my panicked feelings about Van, it suddenly seemed like an easy decision to leave the cover at home. The flash of anger, I believe, was born from being repeatedly told in social media that I'm doing something I should be ashamed of by feeding my baby in a place other than a bathroom. If you don't believe me, check out this TMZ article lambasting Selma Blair for breastfeeding her child in public...and then for bonus irony, check out the photos at the bottom of the page of scantily clad women somehow deemed socially acceptable promoting other articles that have nothing to do with breastfeeding, and decide which photos are actually more revealing!)

I hung my nursing cover in the mudroom on my way to the hospital six weeks ago, and I've only used it on one occasion since then.

On the Mend

Now, don't get me wrong, dear reader. I'm about as interested in you catching a glimpse of my breast as you are about seeing it yourself, which is to say not at all. I am an exhibitionist only by Middle-Eastern standards; my swimsuit has shorts, for heaven's sake, and I'm not talking about the sexy hot pants kind. But what I'm really not interested in is forcing my sweet baby boy to eat his meals under a hot, stuffy cover that he hates. His breathing problems have gone, but my semi-posttraumatic feelings of panic are very much there whenever I think about covering him up and compromising his breathing. Believe me: once you go through that as a parent, you don't come back unchanged. So instead I choose to be discreet, using scarves or receiving blankets or Van's head to help facilitate coverage without actually covering my baby completely, and nurse my baby without a cover in public. I feel that doing so is making the best decision for Van and me. I will always be polite about my coverage, but I won't spare any words for the first stranger who chooses to confront me on the decision (hopefully no one will). My exception for using the cover would be if I am a guest in someone else's home that isn't family or a close girlfriend.

My friend Laura, who is a lactation consultant, sent me a video of a song written by an Australian mother who grew tired of the dirty looks that she got when she nursed her baby in public. Hilarious as the video is, it's truly a sad commentary on the state of breastfeeding in the western world today. Why mothers have to defend themselves at all about where they choose to feed their children (and by what means and up until what age) is a trigger point for BJ and me. The over-sexualization of breasts detracts from their actual intended purpose, which is to feed little nurslings. The lyrics of this song are quite clever and make the point that breastfeeding mothers are not actually out to ruin people's days by feeding their baby. Here are the chorus lyrics: “Everybody knows new mothers are exhibitionists/Taking every chance they get to ruin your day with tits!" In the video the singer busts into a bathroom stall and finds a father sheepishly sitting on a toilet feeding his baby a bottle. Who doesn't agree that such a thing is disgusting? And yet asking mothers to have a seat on a loo and feed their baby in there with every bathroom germ imaginable is somehow more acceptable to some people?


In conclusion, here's my statement: I'm done retreating to bathrooms and hiding under covers. I did it with my first two sons and I'm not doing it anymore. I'll respect people, and people can respect my baby. My under cover days are over! I venture now into very charted waters---explored by mothers all throughout human history.

By the way, this is not a picture of me nursing.

***If you're interested in reading more about nursing in public and the history of perceptions, this is the best article about it that I've ever read: Breastfeeding and NIP: A Primer. ***

Australian Open...Times Two

Photos by Sommer Marshall

A year ago I wrote the post entitled Australian Open Bam! The post discussed the nostalgia I felt as the one-year mark of George's life was signified by a tennis major, which I'd watched through middle-of-the-night feedings the year before. An excerpt:

I was watching a game on ESPN and my eyes fell on the Bottom Line, where they post scores and late-breaking news. What caught my eye was that my favorite male tennis player, Rafa Nadal, had withdrawn from the upcoming Australian Open due to a stomach illness. ESPN noted that first rounds of the Open begin on January 14th. And then Bam! there it was: the sudden memories of all of those late, late nights up watching live Australian Open tennis on TV last year while my newborn Georgie either ate or otherwise refused to sleep. OMG, I thought! My baby is about to be a whole year old! Of course it's time for the Australian Open again because it's nearly time for George's birthday! And then I closed my eyes and let the nostalgia wash over me, thinking of the hours and hours of tennis that I watched as it occurred live halfway around the world, with a sweet-smelling tiny seven-pound newborn in my embrace. I watched tennis in the hospital, in our bedroom, in our living room, while I snacked on muffins and donuts, as I quietly talked to my dad on the phone while he did overnight security work, as I watched a coyote meander through our yard, as we did "shift work" when George had no idea yet when it was daytime and when it was night-time, and as I stumbled from my warm bed to the living room with my new baby, flipped the switch for the fireplace, and nursed. All while watching Australian Open tennis. And I thank God for every single one of those middle-of-the-night moments with Georgie, and astoundingly I find myself wanting that exhaustion and peace again, for a third time with a third little one.

The last line really tugs at my heart...wanting that exhaustion and peace again, for a third time with a third little one. Even as George was a baby, I had the strong feeling that I didn't want to be done having kids, that I would crave the whole experience again. Two years later here I am, watching Australian Open tennis in the middle of the night with a third little one, Mr. Van Owen. This time I didn't forget the Australian Open was coming though; I was counting down the days until Round One began on January 13th, knowing that my favorite tennis major awaited me during long overnight hours. The kicker is that even as the exhaustion has happened this time, I haven't really minded too much. Each time that I have gotten up and flipped on the gas fireplace and sat down for a 2-1/2 hour haul with Van, I have done so with little reticence because this time I have the feeling that it's happening for the last time, with the last little one. BJ and I haven't ruled out a fourth child, but part of me thinks that destiny always had written for me three little boys to be entrusted to my care--not four little boys or three little boys and a little girl. We'll see what the future brings, however.

Five nights ago Van began sleeping through the night, right as the tennis matches were getting quite competitive and more evenly-matched. Two nights in a row he went to bed around midnight and slept until around 8:00AM, which really is music to my ears. So why in the world does some part of me feel nostalgic already? What am I, crazy? After two nights of sleeping through the night, Van and I revisited our feedings when he woke up at 3:00AM and stayed awake until 5:00AM as I nodded off while watching the Wawrinka/Berdych semi-final. Since then he has slept through the night for two more nights (which has necessitated DVR-ing of the Rafa/Federer semi-final and now the women's championship). My little boy is already growing up. Life with three little boys has been hectic these past five weeks, and I haven't had the time to myself that I have previously enjoyed as an individual; I haven't always eaten hot meals as they were ready, and I haven't always felt well when I've been tired or recovering from childbirth, but I will say this: I'm not complaining. Motherhood has been an experience like no other, and to be thrice blessed is more than any one young lady deserves. I know Van will be up again in future nights, as will Silas and George, and I can't begrudge it. It comes with the territory and affords me quality time with one of my children---time I'll be longing for when they are 19, 18, and 16 and costing me $1300 a month in groceries and grabbing the car keys and running out of the house. I just hope they sometimes kiss me on the way out and call me when they get there. Savor it, my fellow parents. It doesn't last forever.

On a side note, the Australian Open has now caused two weeks of Lorde's "Tennis Court" to be stuck in my head on a loop. Good thing I love the song. I think I'll add it to my run playlist as a forever-reminder of my early days with Van. "We're so happy, even when we're smiling out of fear.
Let's go down to the tennis court, and talk it up like yeah..."


Lorde / Tennis Court from joel kefali on Vimeo.

Breastfeeding on a Dairy-Free Diet: Our Journey and Our Tips

Welcome to the World Breastfeeding 2013 Blog Carnival cohosted by NursingFreedom.org and The San Diego Breastfeeding Center!
This post was written for inclusion in the WBW 2013 Blog Carnival. Our participants will be writing and sharing their stories about community support and normalizing breastfeeding all week long. Find more participating sites in the list at the bottom of this post or at the main carnival page.
***
Over the past year and a half, I posted quite a bit about my breastfeeding journey with Baby George; it was a challenging and rewarding journey for me because it required dietary sacrifices (namely dairy and soy) on my part. Since the time that Georgie has weaned and has begun tolerating these foods well, I have had a few friends who have embarked upon their own dairy-free breastfeeding journeys and have come to me for advice, encouragement, and tips. Since the first week of August is World Breastfeeding Week, it seemed appropriate to me to prepare a post that summarizes our journey, the benefits that George and I both derived from the decision I made, and ways that we can potentially help other moms that are going through similar situations.

From the beginning, my husband and I knew that something just wasn't right with George. Even from his very first night he was incredibly stuffed with mucus, so much so that we worried about him sleeping at night and slid textbooks under one end of his crib mattress to elevate his head. This was accompanied by difficulty sleeping and eventually followed by fussiness and diaper rash. Within just a few short weeks, our Georgie was nearly constantly covered in a hideous-looking rash. We worked closely with the pediatrician on skin-protection regimens and he was administered topical steroids several times; each time the cream would clear him up, but as soon as we stopped administering it that nasty old rash would rear its ugly head again.

When George was two months old, a friend of mine who is a lactation consultant suggested that his problem might be a food allergy. I honestly hadn't even considered this possibility! She suggested that I cut out dairy and continue to nurse George. I began wondering if perhaps her suggestion was plausible, and over the next ten days I watched George's skin closely as I ate different types of foods; I noticed no patterns, but, then again, the rash was consistent and terrible. I began doing internet research on dairy allergies and found that, sure enough, George's profile seemed to be consistent with some frequently-reported symptoms (facial and body rashes, diaper rash, excessive spitting up, and other gastro-intestinal issues). Finally, I woke up one morning when he was about ten weeks old and said, "Enough is enough." I knew that day was the day that I would begin cutting dairy out of my diet to see if it made a difference for him. Little did I know that this was only the beginning...

Like most people that go dairy-free for a period of time, I made a ton of rookie mistakes in that first week! I knew I would be giving up obvious cow-milk foods such as butter, cheese, sour cream, and ice cream. Bye bye pizza. However, I had absolutely no clue that milk is in so many food items! I had naively assumed that if I went to Chick Fil A and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with no cheese and specifically requested no butter on the bun, I would be in the clear. EEEH! WRONG! To use Chick Fil A as an example, there is milk as an ingredient in the bun itself, the chicken (both the grilled and fried varieties) undergoes a milk wash, and the fries are also NOT dairy-free! Okay then, big mess-up. A closer look at the ingredient labels led me to realize that so many food items, from spaghetti sauces to dinner rolls to many breakfast cereals to Doritos to Toaster Strudels all contain either milk, milkfat, whey, casein, sodium caseinate, lactoglobulins, or other various no-nos. I began spending a couple of hours a day researching the exact limitations of a dairy-free diet, finding restaurants that offered options for me to eat, and brainstorming dairy-free meal ideas for our home. I had the complete support of my husband, who also ate dairy-free meals with me (he was allowed to eat pizza and cheeseburgers at work, as long as he didn't tell me about it!), and I can't tell you how crucial it was for me to have a partner who knew my goals and worked to support my endeavors. Within five days, George's skin was absolutely flawless and his congestion was absent. We knew that we had found our answer. A little tweaking with my ingredient intake led us to the conclusion that George also struggled with soy, so I eliminated soy from my diet as well. *A word on this in a moment!

All in all, I remained on a strict dairy- and soy-free diet with George for nearly eight months. When he was just over ten months old, our pediatrician told me to reintroduce the allergens in a tiny amount to see how George would respond, as many babies begin outgrowing their allergies at around nine months old. Lucky for me, George responded very well to my long-awaited chips and queso! Hooray! Along the journey, there were days when eating no dairy was very easy for me and I hardly had to think twice about it; near the end, however, I feel like I almost became obsessed with thinking about the foods I couldn't have. During those months I found myself missing cheese quite a bit, with pizza being the penultimate dream, followed shortly by one of the newly-introduced Doritos Locos tacos from Taco Bell. I can't help but smile wryly as I think about those cravings and how funny our stubborn taste-buds can be!

When people ask me if the dairy-free diet was worth it, I answer with a resounding YES. Yes, yes, yes, it was worth it! There were so many reasons why I needed to do what I did even though it was hard, and I will always be glad for that decision! Here are some of the top reasons why I have encouraged breastfeeding friends whose babies have potential food allergies to give this sacrifice a try:

1. The obvious first reason is how much better your baby will feel if it really is a dairy allergy, and you successfully remove all traces of the allergen from your diet (and therefore your baby's system). George was happier and seemed better in every way within just a short time, and this sustained my motivation over eight long months.

2. You'll probably lose all of your pregnancy weight...plus some! I couldn't keep the weight on, really and truly. The pounds just seemed to melt off, even though I let myself eat as much as I wanted and whatever I wanted that was dairy- and soy-free. Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate morsels? Yeah, I threw them back by the handful several times a day (they're the only delicious dairy-free chocolate morsel that I ever found, by the way). I ate two whole bags a week! Second and third helpings at dinner? Bring it! Between George's birth and the day I went dairy-free I lost 30 pounds; after I went dairy-free I lost 35 more and ended up 25 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. Cutting out all of those dairy-filled processed foods, plus engaging in some low-key jogging, had its benefits!

3. The bonding with my baby was intense. It's probably in part due to some psychological defense mechanism ("I tell myself this is worth it because it's hard"), but my feelings for George intensified many times over during that first year. I felt as though it was him and me against the world, dairy-free buddies taking it by storm! He and I were a team, and a darn good one at that! I loved him all the more for the sacrifices that I made.

4. If your baby cannot tolerate dairy or soy, then choosing to cut the allergens out of your own diet will be far cheaper than relying upon alimentum formula, which typically runs about $30 for a 16-ounce can. Welcome savings!

5. And finally, my fifth motivating factor was ultimately the one factor why many people say it isn't worth the sacrifice in the first place: I just love dairy so much. I love ice cream and cheese and pizza and Mexican food; I love it all so much, in fact, that I can't imagine not eating this food with my children. I knew from my pediatrician that if I gave up my son's allergens and breastfed him rather than put him on alimentum formula, his chances of overcoming this allergy would be better and sooner; I SO wanted this for George. I craved the very idea of eating pizza and ice cream cake with him at his birthday parties and watching his face light up as he eats delicious foods that I love. I craved the idea so much that I gave up the food itself, so that my daydream had a better chance of becoming a reality.

Please learn from my mistakes along the way! I made months' worth of dairy-free recipes, researched milk substitutes (because I love to cook and bake), and learned the in's and out's of what I could eat when I was out on the road. Some restaurants were extremely accommodating to my needs (one kind server even let me scour ingredients on labels back in the kitchen with her!) and others were not (nasty stare from food-prep gentleman as I timidly pointed out the shredded cheese that was strewn all about the salsa I wanted on my burrito at a build-your-own burrito chain).  These are some important things I found along the way:

1. Know your dairy ingredient names so you can find them easily on food labels!  This website was particularly helpful for me in memorizing these: http://www.godairyfree.org/dairy-free-grocery-shopping-guide/dairy-ingredient-list-2

2. Find out what you CAN eat from grocery stores and focus on using those ingredients as building blocks. Try to see it in terms of what you are allowed to eat, rather than what you are not. This website helped me with this:http://www.beanmom.com/nomilk.html

3. Yes, eating out is going to be hard, but with some education and some creativity, you can do it! For instance, nope, you can't eat the buns at Five Guys Burgers...but you CAN get your delicious hamburger wrapped in lettuce with all of the fixings minus cheese, plus their french fries are dairy-free (most french fries at places aren't)!  Here is a guide that we used for choosing restaurants: http://www.godairyfree.org/eating-out, and here is their fast-food guide: http://www.godairyfree.org/eating-out/fast-food-dairy-free-listings. A word of caution: unless you can become intimately acquainted with the menu of local, one-of-a-kind restaurants, they are generally hard to eat at because they largely do not provide allergen menus. This will stick you with a lot of chains, because the larger chains are the ones who are more willing to provide their ingredient lists, in my experience. YOU TYPICALLY CANNOT TRUST YOUR SERVER TO KNOW IF SOMETHING HAS DAIRY IN IT. I cannot stress this enough; as well-meaning as your server may be, he or she typically does not have the knowledge of milk-protein allergies and will simply make the assumption that something does not contain dairy if there is no obvious cheese or butter in it. You will be responsible for hunting down this information on your own before you consume the meal!

4. You can find ways to have your delicious treats!

Oh, yes, these chocolate chip cookies are dairy-free and delicious! I made them in my own kitchen by substituting Crisco for butter and using Ghiradelli semi-sweet morsels (they must be the semi-sweet kind; the milk chocolate and bittersweet renditions both have milkfat). Here is a separate post with this cookie recipe. In the fall I made a delicious pumpkin pie that was dairy- and soy- free (okay, many times I made this pumpkin pie because I'm a pumpkin pie fiend), and friends and family swore they couldn't tell the difference! The pie is the creation of Alisa Fleming, who ingeniously thought to be substitute Silk coconut milk for the traditionally called-for evaporated milk. After hours of drumming my fingers and running out of options for my favorite dessert of all, Alisa came to the rescue! http://www.godairyfree.org/ask-alisa/ask-alisa-do-you-have-a-good-pumpkin-pie-recipe-that-is-milk-free-and-soy-free
I also found that you can make a delicious cup of hot chocolate using 4 tablespoons of Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips mixed with three-quarters of a cup of soy or almond milk. Just put them together in a mug, microwave for 90 seconds, and stir vigorously for a minute or so. Yum! My husband and I both think this creation is delicious.

5. Sweets aren't the only foods to get creative with! We tweaked existing recipes and developed a running inventory of dairy- and soy-free meals that we could reliably prepare and love. Take for instance "Mexican Mashup:" cook some brown rice (I cook it in chicken stock instead of water for extra flavor) and smother it with a heated mixture of drained canned black beans and a salsa of your choosing. Then add chunks of avocado and shredded cabbage (I use bagged cole-slaw starter which can be found by the mixed greens in the grocery store) and scarf it up with tortilla chips. All of these foods are perfectly safe! You can create your own meals or you can contact me for more ideas....I have several.

6. Soy-free diet does not mean you have to give up ALL soy! I began crying when I realized that I needed to give up soy and saw that it is basically an ingredient in everything--that is, until I researched it more thoroughly and came to understand that soy lecithin and refined soybean oil are considered safe enough that manufacturers aren't even required to put it on their labels. Best I understood, these two ingredients, which comprise the soy in many foods, are safe to eat by nearly everyone, with the exception of perhaps people who are allergic enough that they could die if they consume soy. This rules back in a ton of foods, including basics like peanut butter.

I know that this has been a lot of information and it isn't applicable to most people who read this blog. I just wanted to have this information out there and in one place for those who need it. Think you can't do it? Think again, my friend. You are powerful, and stronger than you might think. Build yourself up by leaning on a positive support system, and surround yourself with images of strength (for example, one of my favorite posts here about female grit!). I welcome woman-to-woman encouragement, as I believe that building each other up is essential. We are stronger, more skilled, and happier as we connect with one another and rely on others for support. Good luck to all of you moms out there, and to your little nurslings too!


***
Visit NursingFreedom.org and The San Diego Breastfeeding Center for more breastfeeding resources and WBW Carnival details!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. Below are a list of links for today's participants; you can find a complete list of links (updated throughout the week) at our main carnival page:
(This list will be updated by afternoon August 3 with all the carnival links.)

• Breastfeeding and NIP: A Primer — Rachel Rainbolt of Sage Parenting, featured today at NursingFreedom.org, uses her informative and candid voice to share with you everything you need to know to breastfeed successfully in public, from the practical how-to's to handling the social stigma.
• Lactivist Ryan Gosling — Breastfeeding mamas, the time is long overdue for a Lactivist Ryan Gosling. Fortunately, Dionna of Code Name: Mama has created some for your viewing pleasure.
• In Defense of Formula — Amy of Mom2Mom KMC, guest blogging for Breastfeeding in Combat Boots, asserts that formula is a medical tool rather than a food. She examines how this perspective supports breastfeeding as normal and eliminates the negative tensions between breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding mothers.
• World Breastfeeding Week 2013 Blog Carnival - Breastfeeding Tips & Tricks — Throughout her breastfeeding journey (since March 2009), Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy has shared countless tips and tricks on the topic of breastfeeding.
• Nursing in the Wild — Meredith at Thank You Ma'am posts about how seeing other moms nurse can make all of us more comfortable with nursing in public.
• Normalizing Breastfeeding — Sara Stepford of The Stepford Sisters confronts the social stigma vs. the reality of breastfeeding and opens up about the steps she takes to make herself and others more comfortable with the process.
• Breastfeeding Alrik at two years old — This is where Lauren at Hobo Mama and her second-born are at in their nursing relationship, two years in.
• Perfectly Normal — Stephanie from Urban Hippie writes about the way she and her family have done their part to try and normalize breastfeeding in a society that doesn't get to see breastfeeding as often as they should.
• Diagnosis: Excess Lipase — Learn about excess lipase and how to test if your expressed milk has it. That Mama Gretchen shares her own experience.
• Redefining Normal — Diana at Munchkin's Mommy reflects on how we can normalize breastfeeding in our society.
• Nursing Openly and Honestly — Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work feels that the most socially responsible thing she can do as a mother is to nurse and nurture her children openly, honestly, and with pride.
• Wet-nursing, Cross-nursing and Milk-sharing: Outdated? — Jamie Grumet of I Am Not the Babysitter shares a response to the Wendy Williams quote about milk sharing being akin to slavery, by giving a brief history of the wet nurse.
• Tackling Mastitis with an Older Nursling — Much of the advice available for supporting recovery from mastitis seems to be aimed at mamas with younger nurslings. Juliet of Twisting Vines, posting at Natural Parents Network shares tips for dealing with mastitis while breastfeeding a toddler.
• Milk in the eye — Gena from Nutrition Basics discusses how breastmilk cured her 3 year old's case of pink eye.
• Boobie Biter — Rachel Rainbolt at Sage Parenting offers guidance on how to survive and thrive a boobie biter with your breastfeeding relationship intact.
• My take on breastfeeding advice — Diana at Munchkin's Mommy shares her insights on nursing for both new moms and new dads.
• My Top Five Breastfeeding Tips for Delivery Day: Think "A-B-C-D-E" — Mothernova shares how her continued success at breastfeeding with her second child rests on a foundation of five key things she did to prepare for baby's arrival, along with things she did when she and baby first met. Easily enough, these tips can be categorized as "A-B-C-D-E": Access to lactation consultant, Baby-friendly hospital, Communicate your plan to breastfeed exclusively, Demand, and Expect to room in.
• Breastfeeding Buddies: Twin Brothers Nurse while Living in the NICU — Twintrospectives at How Do You Do It? shares her 5 tips for learning to breastfeed multiples while in the NICU.
• Breastfeeding on a Dairy-Free Diet: Our Journey and Our Tips — Finding herself nursing a baby with food allergies, Jenny at Spinning Jenny embarked upon a dairy-free journey with her son for eight months. Here she relates her reasons for making the decision to give up dairy in her diet, why it was worth it, and tips for moms on the same path.
• Normalizing Breastfeeding in my Home — Shannah at The Touch of Life shares how she plans to help keep breastfeeding normal for her own children, even when her breastfeeding years are over.
• A Year With My Nursling — The more you see and hear, the more normal it becomes, so That Mama Gretchen is sharing her heart on the last year of breastfeeding - the ups and downs, but mostly the joy of her priceless relationship with her son.
• From Covered to Confident — Krystyna at Sweet Pea Births shares her personal NIP evolution: she started by covering up from neck to ankle while nursing in public. Eight years later, she has gained confidence and the ability to nurse without stressing about flashing a little skin. She shares her views on normalizing breastfeeding - what influenced her and how she hopes to help others.
• Normalizing Breastfeeding for Older Kids — Sadia at How Do You Do It? hopes that openly discussing breastfeeding with her (now weaned) daughters will help her children feel comfortable with breastfeeding and their bodies in general as they grow.
• Nursing in Public — Listen up, mammas. Those other people around . . . they don’t matter. It’s not about them. It’s about you and that beautiful baby. Nurse on, says The Swaddled Sprout!
• How to Nurse a Teenager — Sarah at The Touch of Life declares: the purpose is to help normalize breastfeeding a toddler.

To George

 

To my younger son, my beloved Georgie,

Happy birthday (last month!)! You're a toddler now, a whole year old and exploring everything on foot. I can scarcely believe it. You are a little man with a lively personality, and we all delight in you. You love your grandparents, bananas, music, dancing, bath time, pasta, your crib soother, dogs, being outside, and most especially playing with your bubby Silas. Sometimes all you want is snuggles with your daddy, and you have been that way from the start. You play lots of flirty games with strangers in restaurants, and you laugh out loud when tickled and chased. You refuse to be read to, much to your daddy's and my chagrin. You say words like mama, dada, bubba, nana (banana), and dog. You strongly shake your head "no" when that is your preference.  In your first year of life, you have visited Massachusetts twice, New Hampshire, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana. Your mommy and daddy have lots of travels planned for you, including another trip to Massachusetts with tickets already purchased. Still to come someday are California, Minnesota, Florida, and Europe, for starters. You are brave and adventurous, and you push your older brother to new heights. You really are a mama's boy.  I think you will have a personality that is lovely and challenges me because it is different from mine.

The breastfeeding journey that you and I have shared was nothing if not dramatic and fun, and I must say that it ultimately was one of the most rewarding journeys I have ever embarked upon. It all began the moment you were first handed to me, and you proceeded to easily latch on and nurse for 50 solid minutes. I finally had to pull you off because your daddy wanted to hold you for the first time too! I remember two and a half months later trying a dairy-free diet in an attempt to ease your obvious suffering, and my surprise when it actually seemed to begin working five days later! I remember the look on Dr. Harmon's face and the tone of her voice when she looked me in the eye and told me that your chances of not being allergic to dairy (AKA delicious) foods forever was greatly improved if I would choose to keep nursing you and just cut dairy out of my own diet; I remember the half-second it took me to agree to that because I am your mother, and I would give up ice cream and pizza for eight months if it meant that you had a better chance of getting to eat it someday with me. And then we were off, you and me; dairy-free buddies, bonded for life. :)

I remember my hardest day of motherhood quite well; I even blogged about it.  You just absolutely weren't having it that day, and you screamed for hours on end. That was the day that I began loving Adele, as I blasted her album during dinner preparations in the house while you were outside with your daddy and bubby shooting hoops. Now that I have some distance from it, I look back on that day fondly. I discovered the next week that you love Adele too, coincidentally, and I think it's fun that we have that in common. Your reactions to her music have ranged from peaceful trance (with the most adorable cocked head and still posture) to all-out dance fest (which I can't decide is better in your car seat or the living room floor), all of which have brought chuckles to your dad and me.

 Georgie, I love you with all of my might. I love your soft, kissable cheeks.  Your daddy and I are crazy about your snuggles, even as they are becoming fewer and further between.  I love the sight of you walking around the corner with that giant doggie pacifier hanging out of your mouth.  I love and already miss the memories of feeding you in the middle of the night by the fire in the living room, and resting with you in the middle of the day on the couch in our bedroom, with "Friends" and  "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns on as we dozed.  I love taking you and Silas to the zoo, the library, and even the McDonald's play place; seeing you learn and interact makes my heart swell. Georgie, you must know that your daddy, your brother, and I are absolutely crazy about you. We are so glad you are part of our family. Happy birthday once again.
Love,
Mommy

 Some pictures of you lately:

   Tight places can get ugly fast...

 Oh, the poses you strike!

 Living it up on one of your many trips to Elk City!

 The moment before you turned around and shut your brother into the dryer.  Silas still hasn't let us hear the end of that one!

The Dropoff: Modern Day Wet Nurses

Keri and me:  a couple of modern-day wet nurses!

Today was the day!  Keri and I have been working hard, and now our hard work got to pay off.  She and I agreed to meet at OU Children's Hospital this morning to drop off our breast milk stores, and we scheduled a celebratory lunch afterwards.  I was definitely emotional about today; I found myself crying as we neared the hospital, the same one into which Kristen Smith walked with her baby Aiden all those months ago, and walked out four weeks later without him. He was the reason for all of this work, after all. It began with him, he has lived on in our efforts, and his life was not in vain. I cried again later when I posted a picture on Facebook of George and me handing over the milk, and then I cried again when I checked Facebook later and saw the outpouring of support from friends and strangers.  Having Keri there today was extremely important to me;  this decision has been meaningful for me all along, and Keri's addition has helped to make it fun as well. I was very much anticipating our trip to the hospital together with our three boys.

Before the boys and I left for the hospital today, I contacted the Lactation Center where we would be dropping off our milk.  A lady named Samantha kindly assured me over the phone that I could stay in the parking lot and she would come to get the milk so I wouldn't have to get out of the car.  For Milk Mama's like Keri and me though, staying in the parking lot would surely not work! We wanted to make the trek up to the lactation center, and we wanted to see where our milk was going. We wanted to put it in the freezer ourselves, and spend time talking to consultants who work with these babies.  Of course we got lost about six times on the way up to the lactation department, because that is always how things seem to work when you have two gallons of frozen breast milk, two babies, a toddler and a giant arm cast (not to mention a  somewhat disgruntled and misinformed hospital employee who is serving as the information booth attendant).  :)  The wonderful ladies of the Lactation Center were there to greet us when we did finally arrive however, and these included my dear high school friend Kellie whom I had not seen in years and who was spending the day working as a nurse on the unit. These ladies patiently answered our questions and were quite kind to tolerate our excitement on what must have been a routine day for them. It was clearly anything but for us.

  I couldn't believe that Kellie was there!  Never mind the blurriness of my inept phone.

Keri and I were able to see the breast milk storage room, and we got the satisfaction of seeing our milk go straight into the lovely freezers. We also got to meet with Keri's lactation consultant and ask questions to our hearts' content. And finally after having been greeted so warmly, we left with hearts full and arms empty. Keri donated a solid gallon, 128 ounces. She intends to donate more as she continues to pump for her son since she works full-time. I donated 116 ounces, which was 16 ounces higher than my original goal, but is now short of my final goal of a full gallon. Twelve ounces to go, and then I will call my body my own for a bit again before we try to have a third child. There is no doubt that I will donate milk again with the third child if I can, and this time for much longer. Can you tell that I am gladly embracing the role of a modern day wet nurse?

 George isn't sure about letting all of this go!

If this post can help others to consider the possibility of donating breast milk, time, money or anything that might be within their power to give to help critically ill babies, I would be grateful forever. Thank you, dearest family and friends, who encouraged me in this goal when I first set it in November.  You have truly blessed me. And while I have your attention, I will slip in a kind reminder that the CDC is now recommending pertussis boosters regularly, particularly for pregnant women, who are now encouraged to obtain the vaccination with every single pregnancy they have (article here). Much love to you all, and particularly to Aiden.

Pumping Along!

Hello!  I'm baaa-aack!  I didn't expect to be able to write a blog post again this quickly, but we decided that I could not do without being able to type on a computer at work for eight weeks, so we bought Dragon Speak.  Now I can dictate all of my reports at work, and as an added bonus I get to dictate my blog posts! Working in the healthcare field, I have spent time dictating progress notes and assessments before.  However, I haven't done it in a while and it does take some getting used to. It is easier for me to formulate my thoughts through typing rather than talking, but here goes...

If you are viewing this blog post through full web version,  please kindly slide your eyes over to the left and look at how many ounces of milk are ready to go to the milk bank! If you are viewing this site via mobile version,  I will tell you that the total is at about 90 ounces.  It seems as though it has been a long road to get to this point.  Firstly, as I noted in the last brief post, Silas and I both got a stomach bug and so I had to scrap quite a bit of milk from the total. More than once I might add.  Silas then proceeded to come down with the flu on Tuesday, but the milk bank told me that if I didn't catch the flu or run a fever, I did not have to scrap any of that milk. Fortunately, I have remained healthy and Silas quickly recovered from his flu episode. I also had to scrap a day's worth of milk immediately after I broke my hand, because I felt it necessary to take ibuprofen at one point for the pain. As you can imagine, ibuprofen is not allowed in the milk for these very delicate babies,  so I fed this milk to Georgie through his sippy cup. Perhaps that added immunity plus his flu shot kept him from getting the flu and stomach bug as well.  We are rolling right along now though with no illnesses and no medications, and I will have completed the minimum 100 ounce requirement within the next couple of days!  By the time I begin weaning myself off the pump in a few days, I will find that I have exceeded this minimum amount.  I just can't describe how exciting this is for me. To my friends who have sent their support, I thank you kindly.  You are the best of the best. And to my friend Keri, who is donating with me, I think I have no words. For once. :)

Sick Again!

This time I caught the stomach bug, so I have to scrap what I pumped yesterday. Total goes from 43 back down to 38 ounces...Not stopping though!

Update

Looks like my blogging is about to drop off significantly for the next month. In case you missed it on Facebook, I broke my left hand on Sunday and am going to be in a cast for a while. (Pistol Pete would be proud of my cast color choice though.) Typing with two hands is impossible, and right now I'm pecking this out with my right hand, which is taking forever! Never fear, though: my pumping for the milk bank will continue, and I will keep the 'ounces pumped' count updated on the blog for those who might be interested. Astute observers will notice that my count suddenly dropped from 33 to 28 ounces; this is because Silas contracted a stomach bug, which forced me to scrap eight ounces of milk. The milk bank is cautious of sick houses, understandably, so I had to un-tally all milk pumped in the 24 hours before he first vomited, and could not count anything that was pumped during the illness or in the first 24 hours after symptoms disappeared. We are in the clear now though, so I pumped three ounces today that I can count, bringing the new total from 25 to 28. Like I said, I will keep this number updated. Otherwise, you won't hear from me on this blog for a little while. Best wishes to you all over the next couple of weeks!

A Milk Donor

It has been no secret that baby Aiden Smith had a significant impact on me during his short life. If you're new to this blog or somehow missed the bajillion posts about him, you can read about his life and his battle with pertussis here and here. My love for this child did not end with his passing; instead, I have carried him with me in the forefront of my heart for the past six months. What I am finding in time is similar to what all kinds of people no doubt experience in the grief cycle, which is an eventual turning from inwardly-focused sorrow to an outwardly-focused promotion of legacy. This baby will not be forgotten by his friends and family, and he won't be forgotten by me either. In a sort of meandering search for ways in which to honor Aiden, I stumbled across an opportunity posted by my friend Keri on Facebook: the Oklahoma Mothers' Milk Bank. 

The OMMB is an organization with a mission of providing human breast milk to hospitalized critically-ill and premature babies. These particularly vulnerable little ones are often in dire need of breast milk as a means of survival, as they might be adversely impacted by other "nutritional methods" (i.e. formula). Each of these little babies is a deserving life, just like Aiden, only for many of them there is still a chance. And guess what? Much to my glee, I'm still a milk-producing mother, so I can be a donor! =)

The process of becoming a donor has been an involved one, with good reason. After all, these critically-ill babies are exposed to everything a donor has consumed. Once you pass a phone screen, in which you are asked about everything from countries in which you have lived, diseases you might have, and daily intakes of everything from coffee to herbs to prescription medicines, then you move on to the blood work (paid for by the milk bank) and the paperwork. The OMMB goes to some cost for all of this, especially the blood work, so they ask in return that you commit to a 100-ounce minimum donation of milk. Let the countdown begin!

The OMMB is a brand-new organization, and they will begin accepting milk donations (although they are certainly in need of financial donations currently) within the next couple of months. In the meantime, I am supposed to be dropping off my milk donations to the OU Health Sciences Center, where it is being pasteurized and then carefully shipped to the North Texas Milk Bank in the Dallas area. Not to worry, though: Oklahoma babies in need of milk draw from the North Texas Bank, so donating to there really means my milk can serve Oklahoma babies in need as well. Once the OMMB is officially up and running, my name will be transferred to the donor list there, and my donations will stay at the OUHSC.

My contact at the North Texas Milk Bank, a kind lady named Simone, told me that the ideal donor is a lactating mother with an over-abundant supply for her young infant. I would have been the ideal candidate with Silas! He and I pumped exclusively for six months, and I had such an over-abundant supply that I had milk stashed in four different freezers. This time is different, and my body doesn't seem to respond well to the pump these days, so I draw a lot less from that. With George I have only pumped on the days that I work and have only produced exactly what he needed, and thus I have no stored supply. As I am weaning him in the coming days (he turns one on January 18th), I plan to keep up my supply with pumping, and then donating all of the collected milk to the bank. Simone said there is a need for my milk, but not for long. Apparently, a mother's milk changes to fit her baby's nutritional needs, so the milk that I produce for my 11-month-old does not have the colostrum that a newborn needs; therefore, my milk is helpful for older babies who have become critically-ill, but within just a couple of short months, my milk won't be any good to them anymore. Crazy, huh? So pump I will! I have already begun, since George is nursing less than he used to; in addition, on days that I work I will donate everything I pump to the milk bank because George isn't taking a bottle from his caregivers anymore, and his intake of formula through a sippy is highly questionable at best. Although he drinks water from a sippy with ease, he tends to reject formula and breast milk from it, so I can't waste these precious ounces on George (I only work two days a week, so it isn't like he'll starve).

I am up to 15 saved ounces as of today. BJ has set up a cool little widget on the side of the blog, so if you're interested in following the countdown, it will be available for viewing. Thanks for letting me share this on the blog! Just one little way that I can honor sweet baby Aiden.