I had really been hoping that Silas wouldn't be born on May 3rd. There are two disastrous anniversaries that Oklahomans refer to by date only, and everyone knows what they are: April 19th (the Murrah Building bombing) and May 3rd (the F5 tornado outbreak). Both of those days were so awful and hit so close to home that I even remember what I was wearing on those days, and the "disaster pants" will be the topic of tomorrow's post! Anyway, Silas' due date was officially May 8th, but the doctor had moved it up and he was promised to come at any time at the end of April or beginning of May. I thought, "Not May 3rd, not May 3rd!" In the end, though, how was I to know that May 3, 2010 would become the all-time favorite day of my life?
Silas was actually born on the afternoon of May 2nd, so maybe it seems kind of odd that the 2nd isn't the best day of my life. However, my love for Silas was like a fire that was present but that needed a little fanning before it began raging out of control. I don't mind admitting that either. I remember when he was immediately born, of course I loved him! I loved him like crazy...BUT I was pretty concerned about me at the time too, as selfish as it seems (hey, I was a brand-spankin' new mommy, and selfishness was still the way of life!). I was in shock and I was exhausted, as I hadn't slept but about 45 minutes since two nights before. Three hours after Silas was born a nurse came in and asked if he had had a wet diaper, and I suddenly realized, "Oh yeah. I'm supposed to start checking for that kind of thing, huh?" It hadn't even occurred to me. I had been too busy showing him off and regaining the feeling in my legs.
That night I got a few hours of rest and woke up early, feeling like a new woman. I guess I really was a new woman. Silas was sleeping in the plastic hospital bassinet and BJ was sleeping on the plastic hospital pretend-bed, and I got up, picked up Silas, and held him while he slept. All day long. He honestly slept most of the day, and I honestly couldn't take my eyes off of him most of the day. He snuggled into my chest and I fell hard into love. I look back on that day and remember it so vividly...every single visitor, the laughs, the gifts, the care from BJ, and the baby. That silly wonderful baby. May 3, 2010...the best day of my life. The day I shed my old identity and morphed into something absurdly and crazily wonderful. A real mom.